Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
