"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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