i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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