so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
