She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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