Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
