i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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