you guys were way drunker than both of me
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
