Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
God I need to hump something, right now.
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