why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
