Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
