i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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