Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
