You're completely useless in the revolution.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
