On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize