She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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