What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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