This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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