Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
