Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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