two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
