We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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