that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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