Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
