Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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