i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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