wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
