she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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