He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
