Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
