Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Randomize
