Fine. I'll sleep in my office
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
