But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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