I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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