; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
