The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
