you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
