she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
