I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
