Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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