Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
