dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
