i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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