Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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