I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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