If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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