i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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