Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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