I wanna bring you to show and tell
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
