About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
