im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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