maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you didnt know i had herpes?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
