they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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