i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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